watching sex and the city because i have girl roommates now

things i've learned about myself in the last few days:

-- old people freak me out. the sight of an old people fills me simultaneously with terror, guilt, dread, sorrow, guilt and a little bit of smugness (i'm young, sucka).

-- the 'work-in-progress' status of anything that i could possibly create scares me from ever beginning to create anything. i feel so naked!

there are more but i can't remember.

i'm exhausted. tomorrow is my first day without any sort of occupational obligation in all the month of may, but i'll be finishing moving into the ludlow apartment and cleaning the mansion. then i'll return and pass out and go to work.

the light at the end of the tunnel is almost blinding. next week, i have monday and tuesday off and i'm going to do all i can to stay strong and not pick up any hours babysitting or covering a shift at the restaurant. i think i can i think i can i think i can.