everything is stupid.
no one answered my call on the ouija tonight. although i did have a totally sweet dream right before my alarm went off about my 'powers,' though i can't remember what exactly they were (it had to do with psychic-ness) and i made up a word in my dream but i forgot it.
it began with 'r.'
everything is still stupid. except for me.
twins should wear name tags.
i hate second-guessing when i see one twin and i can't say their name. and, consequently, i can't store their phone number in my cell with their name. it's just the last name.
luckily, there's facebook. i must do some research now.
the ultimate in synchronicity (or in small towns where i know everyone): i txted a friend the name of a woman that we both know in our own ways and whom we've joked about in the past. she's a nice lady, but worthy of a good-hearted chuckle. anyway, i'm not sure what prompted the txt, but it matters not.
merely two hours later, i'm standing on a street talking to bobby c, and who walks past me with a friendly smile?
that's right. the subject of the txt.
okay. that was really intense. i cried.
the last few times i've used the ouija it has been really stuck on indicating the letter 'n' and it seems fond of 'z,' which is kind of like an 'n' turned on its side.
tonight it asked me, more than once, if i am nancy. that's my mom. holy moly.
i asked if it was gloria, my grandma, and it said yes but i'm not so sure i believe that.
mom has to come over and do this.
the thing that is synchronous about this, is that i made the ouija board with my friend nick. nick has been hanging out with a girl named nancy (which is a rare name among our generation). but the ghosts are my friends, not nick's, so i'm pretty sure they aren't in search of nick's nancy.
wow.
i really needed that. i feel some weird sense of validation. i also feel a vague sense of losing my marbles and broadcasting it all over the Internets for the whole world to read about. even though i think only two people read this (yes! i do believe i've gained a reader!).
deep breaths. sweet dreams. family ghosts watching my back.
the moon has been awesome, which makes night walks all the better.
i opened a window in my belfry yesterday and awoke this morning to dawn and the sounds of happy birds. i didn't want to get out of bed, but it was certainly nice to listen to.
i've been neglecting the ouija but i just started some laundry at a rather late-laundering hour, so i may as well give it a shot. with a big, low, orange moon hanging outside the window, what ghosts wouldn't want to talk with a girl like me, eh?
i'll report back with compelling bits of conversation, should any arise.
i've been sort of sychronicity-less the past few days. or maybe i've just been kind of tuned out. i've been feelin' crazy but today was a good, rejuvenating day. i feel pretty great. but tomorrow is monday and i don't typically look forward to it.
anyway, i have been taking responsibility for my life, and as i blogged seven days ago, this week was indeed one of changes and renewal.
got an old job back today, and i'll be re-entering the wonderful world of food service in exactly one week. i'm looking forward to it. i miss having a job that requires interaction with new faces all throughout a shift.
here's to opening my third eye tomorrow morning to see a big shining light of synchronicity and fateful occurrences.
i'm freaking out because i don't remember what i was trying to make a witty pun out of with the title of that last post. it was the exact opposite of a saying or something, that much i remember.
arrrgghhh ... quiet lions? silent pork chops? whispering pines?
i can't figure it out. i have no excuse, either. just being a dummy. maybe it was so un-witty and un-clever that i blocked it out of my memory.
stupid.
it's gotta be so boring to be clarece, my fish. just totally dull. more boring than my life (which, thanks to wine, synchronicity, dreams and ouija, hasn't been too unbearable as of late).
i do all i can to keep her stress level low. including risk her health. i don't change that bytch's water often enough. it is so incredibly heartbreaking to have to pour her from her tank into a teeny tiny cup, and back again into her tank. almost as heartbreaking as the day i bought her.
there, on an endcap in the local petsmart, were three or four shelves stocked with $2.50 female bettas and $5.00 males. they swam in cloudy blue water. i use the term 'swam' loosely, as they all seemed to be in a catatonic state. i don't even know what catatonic means. maybe they were in fishatonic states or bettatonic states. whatever.
i almost cried. but i was determined to bring a friend home. i was kind of worried that she was halfway dead when i brought her up to the register. 'we have a two-week guarantee,' the cashier assured me.
fabulous.
i made sure to talk to her throughout the entire drive home (which i did single-handedly, so she wouldn't spill). we became fast friends.
but, here we are, probably about two or three months into a beautiful co-habitationship. clarece gets noticeably excited when i walk near her. her side fins flap like a mother.
and tonight, clarece got fresh waters! mmmm ... taste that new oxygen!!
i think i have one person that reads this thing. i think its nick. nick nack patty whack. i've never called him that. maybe its the wine talking. we all know what happens when the wine talks ...
anyway, i think i'm gonna play part-time momma this summer. adam and i had a lot of phone conversation-time tonight that makes me want to just take a big huge jump and move to chicago without any plans whatsoever of anything: no living situation, no job situation, NO NOTHIN.'
the only chicago synchronicity that happened today was getting a letter from the organization where i applied for a job as a teacher's assistant saying that other people were more qualified than i am. it was the nicest way i've ever been rejected by a job i've applied to. every other job that has rejected me has just not answered me at all. just totally disregarded that i spent time typing a cover letter and cleaning up my resume and dreaming about working. but this place cared enough to have their executive director sign a letter turning me down. i have to respect that.
but do i take that as a sign to not go to chicago? or as a sign that chicago will treat me tenderly?
i also just had really good talks with this dude jacob about God and Mind and synchronicity and i wish it hadn't ended. he's wise. but now i'm gonna put on some nilsson and talk to whomever the ouija brings me.
sometimes i fear i'm losing my mind. the dude at the register at price chopper said, ' have a nice night, ally.' there is no way he could know my name. yes, yes, he certainly could know that it is allyson. but how the heck does he know i go by ally? unreal.
and i finally talked to that woman (see post below). she kept calling today and i spoke to her and told her that she was freaking me out and i'm not her husband, so sorry! she said that her husband has my phone number and that she spoke to him by calling my number yesterday. i told her that's impossible. she said it was true. i told her to stop because it's not true.
she hasn't called back yet.
the whole thing is pretty surreal. i woke up today and had memories of an embarrassing dream and thought for a few minutes that they were waking-life memories. mortifying!!!
sometimes the blurring of reality and dream is fun, but often it is scary.
nothing too synchronous happened today. just saw lots of people out and about that i'd have preferred not to see. but that's because i don't even want to see myself. this is going to be a week of changes and renewal.
