2 posts tagged “mom”

i love to hate hating to love full moons. i've been noticing the mystic feeling they bring during the past few cycles. if you recall, last full moon i ouijaed alone and it asked me if i was mom. i guess i should ouija after this post.

so i've been freaking out trying to decide where to go next. today, i got a few signs or something, i don't know. i'm reading into everything too much.

this morning started out awful - car problems. but then a phone call at lunch from an organization that i had applied to for a job months ago, offering an interview for an unpaid internship. in new york city.

all last week i was convinced i was moving to seattle. i've never had nyc on my map. now things are looking up.

after an incredibly pleasant workout and a beautifully gusty walk down the railroad place path, beltin' out patsy cline and harry nilsson, i had a txt conversation with a favorite friend. this led to a phone call forbidding a move to nyc and encouraging following through with our secret plan.

oh. and before my workout, when i was changing in the locker room, nbc nightly news was on. and on nbc nightly news was a glowing example of fear-mongering corporate media: leeching off the tragedy in china, the newslady's voice warned that seattle is in great danger of a great quake.

i took that as a sign.

also the chapter i read tonight in the shadows book was really eye-opening and relatable.

also my mother is an angel for letting me borrow her fly-ass whip to get to work on time today.

eight days left. not that i'm counting.

if anything good happens, i'll report back from the ouija.

okay. that was really intense. i cried.

the last few times i've used the ouija it has been really stuck on indicating the letter 'n' and it seems fond of 'z,' which is kind of like an 'n' turned on its side.

tonight it asked me, more than once, if i am nancy. that's my mom. holy moly.

i asked if it was gloria, my grandma, and it said yes but i'm not so sure i believe that.

mom has to come over and do this.

the thing that is synchronous about this, is that i made the ouija board with my friend nick. nick has been hanging out with a girl named nancy (which is a rare name among our generation). but the ghosts are my friends, not nick's, so i'm pretty sure they aren't in search of nick's nancy.

wow.

i really needed that. i feel some weird sense of validation. i also feel a vague sense of losing my marbles and broadcasting it all over the Internets for the whole world to read about. even though i think only two people read this (yes! i do believe i've gained a reader!).

deep breaths. sweet dreams. family ghosts watching my back.