8 posts tagged “work”

things i've learned about myself in the last few days:

-- old people freak me out. the sight of an old people fills me simultaneously with terror, guilt, dread, sorrow, guilt and a little bit of smugness (i'm young, sucka).

-- the 'work-in-progress' status of anything that i could possibly create scares me from ever beginning to create anything. i feel so naked!

there are more but i can't remember.

i'm exhausted. tomorrow is my first day without any sort of occupational obligation in all the month of may, but i'll be finishing moving into the ludlow apartment and cleaning the mansion. then i'll return and pass out and go to work.

the light at the end of the tunnel is almost blinding. next week, i have monday and tuesday off and i'm going to do all i can to stay strong and not pick up any hours babysitting or covering a shift at the restaurant. i think i can i think i can i think i can.

forget about those words (below) about new york city.

i saw a rainbow today and it made me glad.

everything is really hectic but i'm maintaining some sense of sanity. well yesterday i was sort of unsane but today i got it together. brink of tears at stupid things a few times, but i'm still hangin' on.

five work days left at the paper. it took me until today to figure out who my dwight schrute is. brother jeff is flush with ideas for goodbye pranks to pull on 'dwight.' i might just let fate work its magic.

nothing too synchronous to report. however, i am watching 'last comic standing' right now and richard belzer of Law and Order is a judge. my favorite post-star co-worker's brother is married to richard belzer's stepdaughter. the wedding took place at a las vegas elvis-y chapel. i watched a video of it online. richard belzer looked awesome. he was wearing those sunglasses. doug's brother looked kind of like the ass he describes him as. his wife looked like the ex-model doug said his mom said she was.

i love to hate hating to love full moons. i've been noticing the mystic feeling they bring during the past few cycles. if you recall, last full moon i ouijaed alone and it asked me if i was mom. i guess i should ouija after this post.

so i've been freaking out trying to decide where to go next. today, i got a few signs or something, i don't know. i'm reading into everything too much.

this morning started out awful - car problems. but then a phone call at lunch from an organization that i had applied to for a job months ago, offering an interview for an unpaid internship. in new york city.

all last week i was convinced i was moving to seattle. i've never had nyc on my map. now things are looking up.

after an incredibly pleasant workout and a beautifully gusty walk down the railroad place path, beltin' out patsy cline and harry nilsson, i had a txt conversation with a favorite friend. this led to a phone call forbidding a move to nyc and encouraging following through with our secret plan.

oh. and before my workout, when i was changing in the locker room, nbc nightly news was on. and on nbc nightly news was a glowing example of fear-mongering corporate media: leeching off the tragedy in china, the newslady's voice warned that seattle is in great danger of a great quake.

i took that as a sign.

also the chapter i read tonight in the shadows book was really eye-opening and relatable.

also my mother is an angel for letting me borrow her fly-ass whip to get to work on time today.

eight days left. not that i'm counting.

if anything good happens, i'll report back from the ouija.

my name is ally, and i'm addicted to karaoke nights. i love 'em. i can't help it. i don't even wanna help it. this is a week that will see me singin' my pants off three different nights at three different venues.

i'll get a record contract soon enough.

here's something that i came clean to one of my favorite co-workers about today. i think i should share with my faithful followers as well. i have this weird thing that happens sometimes when i see someone wearing an outfit that gets my brain moving. it could be an ugly outfit, a cool outfit, a bland outfit, an outfit i've seen the person wear dozens of times, a brand new outfit, there's really no specific type of outfit that sparks these thoughts i'm about to blog of. i'll imagine the person shopping and choosing the items they're wearing. this all started when i was a kid and went school clothes shopping with mom. i only got things that we agreed on. i guess sometimes in middle school and junior high i was jealous of kids with really hip clothes because i didn't think mom was ever hip enough to agree with me to buy them. i doubt that was the case.

i also sometimes imagine the person getting ready to leave their home in the morning and checking their fine bod out in the mirror. i wonder what they think of their outfit. do they feel sexy? do they feel fat? do they even look in a full-length mirror before stepping into the Real World?

there's nothing too synchronous about any of this.

i'm grasping at straws. i'm in love with carl jung. somebody stop me.

i saw something on my lunch-break-stroll that has to mean something. it was too magical to be insignificant.

i was walkin' the mean streets of glens falls, when all of a sudden, my eyes fall upon an abandoned shoe. an abandoned red shoe. an abandoned sparkly red shoe. an abandoned sparkly red slip-on sneaker shoe.

it was from a woman with a bigger foot than mine.

it was purchased at k-mart or wal-mart, some place like that.

alone it sat on the sidewalk of warren street.

there's gotta be a story there, right? a dorothy sneaker, abandoned on a sunny day sidewalk? what happened to its match? what happened to its partner?

finding a lone wizard of oz-esque shoe on a sidewalk at 1 pm on a thursday in downtown glens falls seems like it should be a moving, momentous occasion. but i just felt empty as i walked past it, harry nilsson singing gently in my ear about driving along and seeing all the people who seem to have nothing to say to each other.

maybe it was his spirit in the form of a cheap, tacky, slip-on sneaker.

please enlighten me with any interpretations of this strange sight.

reading old posts just now reminds me of an earlier state of mind. a happier place.

a place i may have returned to this evening. thank you, karaoke. thank you, jess. thank you, long-haired dude.

i'm up way too late and work will be here way too early, but i had an enjoyable evening and i'm not sorry for any of it.

except maybe that peanut butter i just ate. sigh. i guess we all make mistakes.

nothing incredibly synchronous to report. i awoke from a dream this morning and remembered that it involved a dude (i might have loved him, i might not have. i'm always falling in love in dreams, it's awful) who worked for The Baltimore Sun. i told my boss this morning that if she receives a resume from someone from the baltimore area to hire him based on the fact that i dreamt of him (and i was making hyperlinks in my dream) and she said okay. then i remembered that i had been listening to <3 stephen malkmus' <3 latest album and there's a song about baltimore and that's probably why.

if stephen malkmus applies for my job i'll just kidnap him.

i was thinking the other day how i'm just not that into vera bradley crap. i'm not sure i've ever seen something by vera bradley that has moved me to say and/or think 'oh, that's cute.'

i was thinking this and i was thinking of blogging about it. things came up, life happened and i forgot to blog about bradley, vera.

yesterday i was hostessing at the circus cafe (so happy to be back, wish i never had to return to the desk job) and a really beautiful family came to the stand. the mom had these really great frames and i complimented her on them and she said, 'oh, thanks! they're obnoxiously vera bradley, but other than that they're pretty great.'

i told her how i had been thinking of blogging about my dislike for vera bradley and she said she agrees with me. she said she's been thinking of taking a sharpie to the white engraved signature on the arms of her glasses. i told her she should.

that was kind of synchronous.

i had zima synchronicity last night. what a yuppie.

during my run, i was thinking about how i wanted to write a blog post about drinking zima. this thought came to me because recently i was complaining to brother jeff about a coworker who is constantly blathering on loudly about completely trivial and boring everyday occurrences in her life. he suggested i throw it right back at her and say something like, 'i never even got to try zima.'

that made me think of the times that i had drank zima. i was too young to be drinking and it was in the woods and i was with people that i'm certainly no longer friends with. i probably got drunk off one of them. i knew they were stupid, even then, but drinking is really cool when you aren't even old enough to drive, so it didn't matter. it tasted like sprite, if my memory serves me.

so now for the synchronous part:

i was at the circus cafe having an after-dinner cocktail with sir g. matthew igler and llanse, a former bus boy/bar back came in after working a shift at the restaurant he works at now. llanse isn't 21, so michael put some soda in a snifter for him and made some funny comment about zima. sorry i can't remember it.

so, there you have it. zima was in the air last night. i told matt we should try to find some on ebay, there's gotta be a case or two still floating around somewhere, right?